Surviving to Thriving
Leigh (left) and Janie hang out in Waller’s Coffee Shop.
Last September Citizen Advocacy was informed by Atlanta Legal Aid (ALA) of a young woman from the westside of Atlanta, whom they had been serving. Janie had experienced many traumas and built up many wounds in her young life, and was in the midst of the greatest threat to her safety and future.
She had spent most of her life moving from foster home to foster home, and receiving very little of a real education in segregated special education classrooms. It was not until she was a teenager that she found a foster parent who would eventually adopt her, and she began making real friends at school.
For a brief time Janie thought she had a family and a stable place to live. But it did not last long.
Soon after Janie turned 18 when she would have to reapply for disability benefits as an adult, her adoptive mother called the cops on her. The police took her to the hospital and afterwards they dropped her off at her home. When Janie got there she was able to grab a few things in a backpack, but she was forced to leave.
For a couple days she spent time at a friend's place down the street, but eventually got connected with some people that had bad intentions. Eventually she found her way to a women's shelter and with the help of ALA got into emergency housing.
Aaron first met Janie with a representative of ALA for lunch. At first Janie was shy but after a little bit of pizza, her energetic and engaging personality came out in between her looking intently at the various families enjoying their lunch.
It was clear after a few visits that Janie was an incredibly strong and loving young woman. She had been through so much that could have broken anyone, but Janie remained in good spirits finding every opportunity for laughter.
Throughout her eighteen years she had developed many ways to survive, but she was still all alone in the world. She would often speak of her adoptive mother, and she lit up talking about “family.” It was obvious that what Janie wanted most was a mom.
A mom comes with a variety of different attributes and characteristics. A mom is someone who loves unconditionally. A mom is someone that no matter what at the end of the day will be there for you.
A mom is someone who gives advice even when they know that advice might not be taken. A mom is someone who for their entire life will strive and fight for you to have your biggest, best life.
Leigh is the perfect example of a mom. She is a mom to her biological daughter and to her son that came into her life as an adult. She is a mom to people in Ginia’s group of friends. Leigh met Derona and they spoke mom together.
While helping her put together a desk as she moved into an office down the hall from Citizen Advocacy, Aaron got to know Leigh. It became clear that everything Ginia and Derona had told him was absolutely true. She was the right person to ask to be Janie’s advocate, and when Leigh was asked if she wanted to meet Janie, she said YES!
A week later Aaron and Leigh took a trip to Janie’s emergency housing to take her out for lunch. At 12 in the afternoon with the intention of ordering hot wings for lunch, Janie ordered a coffee to drink. After that, Aaron did not have to say a word during lunch.
Leigh at the time was working with an Indigenous Coffee grower and producer in Chiapas, Mexico as an importer and salesperson. Janie and Leigh instantly bonded over coffee, although Janie prefers a massive amount of sugar in hers while Leigh prefers just a little oat milk.
Janie (left) and Leigh after their first meeting.
On the drive home Aaron asked Leigh how she felt her introduction to Janie went. Leigh said, “She is my child and I will love her no matter what.” A week later Leigh became Janie’s Citizen Advocate.
At the beginning of each relationship initiated by Citizen Advocacy it is vitally important for the two people to spend time together for the sole purpose of getting to know each other better. Leigh figured out a way for her and Janie to not only bond, but give Janie an experience that she might want to explore further.
Leigh’s friend runs his own coffee shop in Decatur. Leigh invited Janie to learn to make a latte, a skill that could become a job in the future. With the instruction of Jason at Waller’s Coffee they made several lattes and then hung out together drinking them on a couch in the front of the shop.
Jason of Waller’s Coffee Shop (left) gives instruction to Janie (center) and Leigh on how to make lattes.
Leigh and Janie continued to get to know each other through lunches and girl time. Leigh even added Janie to her phone plan so they could keep in contact regularly, especially when Leigh traveled.
The fun times did not last long. Leigh had to learn quickly how to use what she had learned about Janie and support from Citizen Advocacy as Janie was forced into survival mode again.
Her emergency housing situation became hostile. The home owner became limiting what Janie could do. Leigh had to fight for Janie to be able to go to her family's home for Thanksgiving, and when Janie got back she had to isolate in her room for two week although the home owners never tested her for Covid-19.
After weeks of being isolated and stuff from her room going missing, Janie was suddenly moved on Christmas Eve without Leigh or ALA’s knowledge. If it had not been for the phone Leigh got her, nobody but the service provider would have known where Janie ended up. Janie could have been lost in the system without Leigh being able to find her.
The phone proved vital not just to Janie’s independence and agency, but as a form of protection.
That same phone soon led to the next “crisis.” One day in March Leigh received a message from Janie’s providers that there was going to be a meeting to deal with a “crisis.” The service providers had deemed Janie’s access to a phone as a threat to her health and safety.
The only thing they agreed on was that the phone had to do with her safety. But for Leigh the phone meant everything for Janie’s safety: it let her contact Leigh if there was a problem. The service provider decided to take Janie’s phone, which was Janie’s personal property and paid for by Leigh.
Janie’s providers used the guise of health and safety to have more control over Janie’s life. For several days Leigh was not allowed to talk to Janie. Leigh pushed back making sure the providers knew they were violating Janie’s civil rights. Leigh agreed that Janie needed more experience and help with figuring out the responsibilities of having a phone, but it was Janie’s property and they had no right to take it from her.
Eventually, after the providers made Janie sign a document limiting when and how she could use the phone, Janie got her phone back.
The phone incident was just the first of many manufactured “crises” instigated by the service provider. These “crises” eventually led to Janie experiencing another critical situation that threatened her well-being. This time she was not alone.
Leigh was there to stand beside her.
On April 12th, Leigh got notified about another “crisis” meeting where the host home provider said her attendance is optional. Leigh responded, “Heck yes I’m coming, if not something might happen that harms Janie if I don’t show up.” The meeting was scheduled for the next day.
Leigh canceled all her appointments for the day, drove her friend to work in order to borrow her car, and drove across town to be present. She also worked with the Citizen Advocacy coordinator to make sure Janie was represented with a team that would ensure her rights were upheld.
The service providers’ intentions for the meeting were clear from the beginning. Janie’s support coordinator was trying to get Janie to sign away her temporary waiver that provided her the funds to have a place to live and to eat.
The support coordinator, who is supposed to work for Janie, even said that Janie wanted to sign away her waiver and was competent to do so. The same people who deemed Janie was not competent to have a cell phone had decided that she was competent to sign away her right to a place to live and food.
Leigh knew immediately that her greatest concern had come true. The service providers were trying to take advantage of Janie in order to wash their hands of any of their responsibility to care about her well-being.
They wanted Janie to be quiet and do what she was told and not be any trouble. They wanted to control her. They don’t know how to handle it when someone like Janie wants independence and agency.
In this meeting at the service providers headquarters, in a small room filled with seven people, Leigh asked, “Do you realize why Janie is not talking? Do you realize how intimidating this is?”
Then another representative that Leigh had brought along with her asked Janie a very simple question. She asked, “Do you know what a waiver is?” Janie’s answer was NO. From there Leigh explained in terms that Janie would understand, “Janie, a waiver is money. It pays for food and a place to live. Do you want money? Do you want a place to live?” Janie’s definitive answer was YES.
If it had not been for Leigh's love and desire to make sure Janie was protected she would have been homeless after this meeting.
With the “crisis” averted, Leigh became exhausted from dealing with crisis after crisis. She wanted more for Janie. She recognized that Janie was not in a safe situation, and began to work on figuring out a place that Janie could truly call home.
Leigh also knew that finding a home can take awhile, so she began thinking about what else she could do in the meantime.
With the support of Citizen Advocacy Leigh was connected to a representative of the Georgia Advocacy Office (GAO) who then set up a zoom call with Michael Kendrick, an expert who has spent his career finding ways for people with disabilities to live a big full life.
Currently Mr. Kendrick has been advocating for and teaching people the idea of Supported Decision is a tool that allows people with disabilities to retain their decision-making capacity by choosing supporters to help them make choices.
Piece by piece Leigh walked Mr. Kendrick through all that she and Janie had been through over the previous six months. Their relationship had started with girl time, Disney movies, and a shared love of coffee, but it had turned into crisis after crisis.
Mr. Kendrick helped Leigh gain perspective as she thinks about next steps for her and Janie. He identified that “Janie is surviving life.” He suggested that the focus should change from surviving life to experiencing life.
He suggested Leigh think about how she could help Janie get some “wins.” Leigh took this new perspective and ran with it.
Just five days later Janie celebrated her birthday with Leigh and friends in Candler Park. Then at the beginning of May Janie was surprised by a “Promposal” from her best friend at school. Janie and Leigh went shopping for a dress and shoes and ordered press-on nails and earrings from Amazon.
Leigh wanted to make sure that Janie had the prom experience that she deserved. Even when Leigh was sequestered to bed on the week of prom, she only worried about Janie and her prom.
With support of the Citizen Advocacy coordinator, Leigh from her bed worked through every network possible to find someone to help Janie with her hair and makeup for prom since she could not be there.
Janie (center) with friends getting ready for prom.
The work paid off and two college girls traveled to Janie’s host home to do her hair and makeup. Janie got the prom experience she deserved, with a date, a red carpet, a photo shoot and looking beautiful!
Janie looks beautiful on the red carpet headed to prom.
Making a latte, a birthday party, and prom were moments of “Life Tasting” that Janie got to experience because Leigh was in her life. But still the system of service providers continued to try to push back on her thriving.
Janie’s host home provider, while sweet and overall caring, treated her like a child instead of a 19-year-old woman. This led to Janie rightfully wanting to find a new place to live.
Throughout the seven months they had known each other Leigh had been looking for options for a place Janie could call home. Leigh stayed in contact with the one person in the service system whom she thought had Janie’s best interest at heart.
She pushed him to find not just “a place” but the right place. With Leigh’s nudging, he was able to find a new host home for Janie.
Leigh invited Aaron to go with her to visit Janie on the day she moved into her new place. Leigh had not gotten to meet the person who Janie was going to live with and understandably Leigh was worried.
All her worries were relieved that day. Leigh called the owner of the new host home to say she wanted to bring pizza to celebrate Janie moving. The woman was excited as every Friday is pizza and pool day for her family.
Leigh and Aaron met Janie and the entire host family of mom, twins, and another young boy. All the kids wanted to go swimming before they dived into the pizza. Leigh asked Janie if she knew how to swim. At first she said yes, but as the other kids jumped right into the pool, Janie, apprehensive, stood by the side.
Leigh asked Janie if she had ever been to a pool. Janie told her no. With the encouragement and love of a mom, Leigh helped Janie step-by-step get into the water. Eventually she settled for dangling her feet over the edge.
That was not the only new experience for Janie that day. Leigh had brought pepperoni pizza with pineapple because Janie wanted to try it. She loved it.
While the kids played, swam, and threw the football, Leigh got to know the new host home owner in Janie’s life. The two women hit it off immediately with so much in common.
Leigh learned that the provider was part of a large family that consistently gets together in Michigan and plans trips with 30 cousins going together. She is a world traveler, retired from the navy, and works from home running 2 of her own businesses.
Her priority is to give her children as many experiences in life as possible and she is excited to bring Janie along. She even told Janie that they needed to get her a passport so she could travel with them when they explore the world.
When pool time was over Leigh and Aaron were invited to come see Janie’s new house and room. As they drove through the neighborhood, they were amazed. The local community includes countless opportunities for Janie to taste life.
Leigh was overjoyed. She had gone into the day expecting the worst due to all she had experienced from the service system over the last 8 months, but on the drive home she exclaimed, “Holy Shit, this is perfect!”
Leigh will be there with Janie for the long haul. For sure there will be rough times as Janie transitions into an independent woman, but for now, according to Leigh, “It’s time for the good stuff.”